The Simpsons© Sound Bytes

Here is my collection of sound bytes which I have collected over the year's from Fox's wonderful animated sitcom, The Simpsons®. These are offered here with my sincere thanks to the Fox Broadcasting Company.

These sound bytes were all recorded in wave file format. The vast majority are less than 100K in size. Those few that are larger than 200K are indicated by the file size in parentheses following the description.


Announcer - Annoying radio ads
Apu - I'm armed to the teeth!
Apu - Badge of honor
Apu - Careful with the carcass!
Apu - Has the whole world gone crazy?
Apu - Skilled in the deadly arts
Apu - Defends his faith
Apu - Elton John!
Apu - Gives thanks for dinner
Apu - Here's your lottery ticket
Apu - To lake to be a hero
Apu - Singing "Hot Blooded"
Apu - I've been zinged!
Apu - A lamb to the slaughter
Apu - This is not a lending library!
Apu - Why don't you make me?!
Apu - Manjula understands
Apu - Sorry, no english
Apu - Please come again
Apu - I know the procedure for a robbery! (202K)
Apu - I can't believe you don't shut up
Apu - Why don't you try and stop me
Apu - Stoned teenagers buying shiny things
Apu - Time for another bank run
Apu - Try to take it in the shoulder
Apu - Silly customer - you cannot hurt a Twinky!
Apu - Horrible web of lies
Apu - You will be shot at
Barney - Burp
Barney - These fumes aren't as fun as beer
Barney - My heart stopped... oh, there it goes
Barney - I used to be a fat, disgusting slob
Barney - She broke my heart, Moe
Bart & Lisa - Are we insane yet?
Bart - Aye, carumba!
Bart - Will the owner of the big butt please move
Bart - Cheating on Homer (315K)
Bart - Oh, you're one of those chicks
Bart - Cool Man
Bart - Cool, I broke his brain
Bart - Eat my shorts
Bart - He He He! D'oh!
Bart - I didn't do it
Bart - I was faking it
Bart - I'm flunking math; attracted to Milhouse
Bart - I'm prepared to make that sacrifice
Bart - I can make her; just give me five minutes
Bart - A mockery of everything I stand for
Bart - That was a practice cow
Bart - Shut yer yap
Bart - Discovers he can speak French (424K)
Bart - Where's he working?
BeeGuy - No es bueno
Burns - Do I have to grow a devil beard? (231K)
Burns - Release the hounds
Carl - Let's get him drunk
Col. Hapablap's tirade on Sideshow Bob (436K)
Dolphin - Snorky - talk - man
Dr. Nick - Okay, that was a little strange
Dr. Nick - Did you feel your brain getting damaged?
Dr. Nick - Bye, bye everybody!
Dr. Nick - Hi everybody! (1)
Dr. Nick - Hi everybody! (2)
Duff clock strikes three
Edna - I need a man!
Grandpa - I've coughed up scarier stuff than that
Grandpa - I'm old - gimmee!
Grandpa - In the port-a-jon
Grandpa - I'm gonna punch your liver!
Grandpa - That racoon stole my lambchop!
Grandpa - That's my ambulance!
Grandpa - The dog's dead (1)
Grandpa - The dog's dead (2)
Grandpa - The dog's dead (3) (236K)
Grandpa - The lamp's running away
Grandpa - The snow's melted!
Grandpa - We're free!
Grandpa - There are wolves after me
Homer & Marge - Those were the days (531K)
Homer & Mindy - Mmmm, foot long chili dog
Homer & Mindy - Okay; okay
Homer - What about the wiener?
Homer - 32 d'ohs
Homer - Ah! I mean, hallo!
Homer - Ahh! Boogey man!
Homer - Bart, kill that cat
Homer - Look at that blubber fly
Homer - Boy meets beast
Homer - Chased by oinkers
Homer - I think I have a collapsed lung
Homer - Come on, you little horse!
Homer - Could you repeat that?
Homer - Craaaaaap!
Homer - D'oh! (1)
Homer - D'oh! (2)
Homer - D'oh! Wrong one!
Homer - I'll never do another stupid thing
Homer - Everyone is stupid except me
Homer - Everything looks bad if you remember it
Homer - Exasperated d'oh
Homer - Falling scream
Homer - Flanders family is dead (326K)
Homer - Flanders, help me!
Homer - Sings the Flintstones theme song (305K)
Homer - Thinks up fortune cookies
Homer - Gets his arms sawed off
Homer - Like going to sleep in a giant blender
Homer - Giggles
Homer - I'm going to stalk Lenny & Carl (235K)
Homer - Fire a gorilla out of a cannon
Homer - Ha ha, you love me!
Homer - His name's like my name!
Homer - Homer to Jebus!
Homer - Horoscope accidents (216K)
Homer - Horoscope boloney
Homer - Oooh, my horoscope
Homer - Long horse laugh
Homer - How's my little piglet?
Homer - I gave Herb all my money
Homer - I hope it's Flanders
Homer - I like being thanked
Homer - I wanted the black one!
Homer - I'll practice you!
Homer - I'm alone!
Homer - I'm no missionary
Homer - Inner peace
Homer - Is this cartoon live?
Homer - It's a flower
Homer - It's easier to blame Apu
Homer - It's green, moron!
Homer - Just smash it!
Homer - Kinichiwa
Homer - Lazy Saturdays (201K)
Homer - Light this monkey
Homer - Look sad and say d'oh
Homer - Look, the Taco Bell dog!
Homer - Loudest profanity
Homer - Lousy dog!
Homer - Lousy pants!
Homer - From the I Love Lucy show (1)
Homer - From the I Love Lucy show (2)
Homer - From the I Love Lucy show (3)
Homer - Marge, mail's here
Homer - Marge, you the man!
Homer - Me too
Homer - Earl's a machine? Perfect!
Homer - Meow, meow, meow, meow
Homer - Mmmm, beer
Homer - Mmmm, candy
Homer - Mmmm, chicken
Homer - Mmmm, chocolate (1)
Homer - Mmmm, chocolate (2)
Homer - Mmmm, crumbled up cookie things
Homer - Mmmm, danish
Homer - Mmmm, donuts (1)
Homer - Mmmm, donuts (2)
Homer - Mmmm, donuts (3)
Homer - Mmmm, donuts (4)
Homer - Mmmm, fattening
Homer - Mmmm, forbidden donut
Homer - Mmmm, grapefruit
Homer - Mmmm, gummy beer
Homer - Mmmm, hippo
Homer - Mmmm, incapacitating
Homer - Mmmm, invisible cola
Homer - Mmmm, Marge
Homer - Mmmm, pistol whip
Homer - Mmmm, potato chips
Homer - Mmmm, snouts
Homer - Mmmm, something
Homer - Mmmm, split pea
Homer - Mmmm, sugar walls
Homer - Mmmm, turbulent
Homer - Mmmm, waffle run-off
Homer - Mouth-watering monkies
Homer - Buttock impression of Mr. Burns
Homer - Must find man
Homer - Ned, you so crazy
Homer - Nighty night
Homer - No time for the baby
Homer - Only 20% loss of brain function
Homer - Oopsy
Homer - Oh, that's just perfect!
Homer - Pet the cat? What's the point?
Homer - Pffft, English
Homer - Rappin' Mr. Plow
Homer - Save me Jebus!
Homer - Saxamaphone
Homer - Scream, crash
Homer - She's a hieffer!
Homer - Shoots a basketball
Homer - Shoots a buffalo
Homer - There, there, shut up, boy
Homer - Sings about Mindy
Homer - Skiing, Ned's revealing ski suit
Homer - Skiing, stupid sexy Flanders
Homer - Skiing, worst pain ever
Homer - Snack-related mishap
Homer - Soft d'oh
Homer - Stupid gravity!
Homer - Take this job and...
Homer - Takes Marge's pepper spray
Homer - Talks about... I forget (234K)
Homer - Talks to God
Homer - There's something you don't see every day
Homer - This is my floor
Homer - Timid d'oh (1)
Homer - Timid d'oh (2)
Homer - Timid "okay"
Homer - Trying to eat a potato chip
Homer - Use your delicious brains
Homer - We have orders not to fire
Homer - We'll catch him!
Homer - What's going on? (211K)
Homer - What's the meaning of life?
Homer - When you're 18, you're out the door
Homer - Whistle
Homer - Will you two shut up!
Homer - Woohoo! (1)
Homer - Woohoo! (2)
Homer - Woohoo! (3)
Homer - Words of advice from his father
Homer - You can't insult this guy
Homer - You're all nuts
Homer - You're cut! (Homer reads the credits) (456K)
Homer - You're lucky you've got looks, Marge
Homer - You're making me mad!
Homer - Your home smells like feces
Kent Brockman - Hurricane Barbara
Krusty - I thought they closed that place
Krusty - What guns are for
Krusty - Why do they call it a urine monkey?
Krusty - The Stingy & Battery Show
Lenny - Please don't tell anyone how I live
Lisa - D'oh!
Lisa - Dad, hide your shame
Lisa - Dad, where are your clothes?
Lisa - Anything here that doesn't have meat in it?
Lisa - Paul Bunyan never fought Rodan
Lisa - Noooo!
Lisa - Rambles
Lisa - Son of a dolphin!
Little Boy - I sleep in a drawer
Little girl - I'd like to get down now
Lunch Lady Doris - There's very little meat
Manjula - A chocolate husband! (235K)
Manjula - You told me!
Marge - Find her a man!
Marge - Joins the police force (265K)
Marge - Quits the police force
Marge - What happened to Muntu?
Marge - Who's Muntu?
Martin - Pick me! I'm ever so smart!
McBain - Up and atom!
Moe - Hey everybody, I'm a stupid moron
Moe - I'm so desperately lonely
Moe - If you're gettin' loaded off those fumes
Moe - The gal I'm stalking
Moe - Undergoes a lie detector test (288K)
Ned - And if you really tick me off (222K)
Ned - At least I got a chunk of Moe's hair
Ned - Did the rubble burn down?
Ned - Hidely ho!
Ned - Hot diggity
Ned - Hey, Homey, I can see your doodle
Ned - I'm Dick Tracy
Ned - Indeedily doodily
Ned - Kicking and screaming, please
Ned - Lousy beatnicks
Ned - No siree, Bob
Ned - Okily dokily
Ned - The auto dialer (1) (337K)
Ned - The auto dialer (2)
Ned - Tirade (01 toilet)
Ned - Tirade (02 poster)
Ned - Tirade (03 gritty floor)
Ned - Tirade (04 Barney)
Ned - Tirade (05 Ned loses it)
Ned - Tirade (06 Bart)
Ned - Tirade (07 Wiggum)
Ned - Tirade (08 Lenny)
Ned - Tirade (09 Moe)
Ned - Tirade (10 Homer)
Ned - We're done for!
Nelson - Ha ha!
Nelson - Sgt. Dork
Paramedic - Sure is easy when they're stiff like this
Ralph - I'm going to Bovine University
Ralph - There's a dog in the vent
Ralph - My face is on fire
Ralph - I glued my head to my shoulder
Ralph - I can't sleep without my scouring pad
Ralph - I'm going to marry Lisa Simpson
Ralph - Miss Hoover, the floor is shaking
Ralph - My cat's name is Mittens
Ralph - Nosebleeds
Ralph - I don't have a red crayon; I ate it
Ralph - My parents won't let me use scissors
Ralph - The tar fumes are making me dizzy
Ralph - I've got two owies
Ralph - I bent my wookie
Ralph - My worm went in my mouth
Rex - You deceitful cow!
Skinner - Boys brandishing their buttocks
Skinner - Edna won't let me clap her erasers
Skinner - Kiss me, Patty
Soldier - I'd rather take an order from Bill Clinton
The Simpsons - Theme song, end of show
The Simpsons - Theme song, start of show
Todd - Dad, the heathen's getting away
Wiggum - No, this is 912
Wiggum - Can I arrest any of you people?
Wiggum - Arrests Homer
Wiggum - Looks like the work of roudy teens
Wiggum - Hey, that duck's got my badge!
Wiggum - We have an officer sneaking around
Wiggum - Oh no, have they set a date?
Wiggum - Rolls down the hill
Wiggum - Could you shake out the last few drops for me?
Willy - Bonjour
Willy - Deeper! Wider! Faster!
Willy - Greese me up, woman!
Willy - I 'ate 'im; I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug
Willy - I cannot water no more!
Willy - I couldn't have shot Burns (224K)
Willy - I'll cry now!
Willy - I'll kill that Mr. Burns!
Willy - The noozel, and the end of the hoos!
Willy - That's the last time you'll slap you're Willy
Willy - What in the name of saint who?
Willy - Willy hears ya; Willy don't care
Willy - Ya silk-wearin' buttercup
Witch - Let me out! I couldn't be in more pain!
Woman - He's bad, but he'll die, so I like it

All sound bytes remain the sole property of the Fox Broadcasting Company, and may not be reproduced or redistributed without their express permission. © 1989-2005 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All rights reserved. All Trademarks are the property of the Fox Broadcasting Company.

The Fox Broadcasting Company

The Simpsons